The Joys of Spring
by Flying Hamster of Doom
Summary: Hiei, Duo, and Kurama seek revenge for being used as test subjects in strange fangirl experiments.


January 17, 2004   
  
I can't blame the creation of this story on anything but my mental condition, and my friend April's obsession with fan fic's.  
  
  
  
April: Huh? Hey its not my fault.  
  
I didn't say it's your fault I said I was going to blame you.  
  
April: Oh. Okay then.  
  
None of the characters in the story belong to me. Including the cat on the mountain. No animals were hurt in the making of this fic… Any damage to the author was completely out of my hands. You'll have to take up any complaints with the characters. That it all.  
  
The Joy of Spring.  
  
There's muffled yelling coming from a large sack in the corner.   
  
Duo: So what should we do with it?   
  
Hiei: I don't know maybe we'll give it a sex change… any springs near by?   
  
Kurama: Oh of course we passed like five of them on the way here. The one I was hurled in was about a mile back.   
  
Duo: Oh yes I'll drag the bag this time.   
  
The sounds from the now squirming bag become panicked.   
  
  
  
Our revenge driven psy… I mean heroes embark on their journey for the perfect spring.  
  
After a long detour to avoid the infamous spring of drowned girl they see another spring. The sign reads…  
  
Duo: Spring of drowned tree sloth. Hmm what do you guys think of this one?  
  
Hiei: Nah. They have enough trouble finishing their stories.  
  
Kurama: Besides. I already have one in mind ::devilish grin::  
  
The bag is curiously still for a moment, and then starts furiously writhing with renewed desperation.  
  
Deciding that the being turned into a tree sloth wasn't quite sadistic enough they move on. A few miles and a couple switches of bag dragger/carrier later they come across another spring however this one is a bit different. Our trio sees an area more heavily sealed than Hiei when he was a baby. Several men seem to be guarding it.  
  
Duo: Hmmm. What's this? There's a chain link fence, barbed wire, steel barricades…  
  
Hiei: Sprit wards…?  
  
Duo: What? No machine gun turrets… ::whirring:: Never mind.  
  
They go closer to ask the guards what's the big deal.  
  
Goku: I'm going to ask you to not come any closer. It's for your own good.  
  
Kurama: Why? What's in there?  
  
Kamui: Just go ok!?  
  
Kenshin: That ones rude that he is. If you really want to know just read that sign.  
  
  
  
Hiei reads the sign while Kurama and Duo ask about Inu Yasha. Seems he was the best guard dog they could find. Shortly after they turn around to see Hiei way way WAY down the road.  
  
Kurama: What's with him?  
  
Duo reads the sign  
  
Duo: It says in broken Chinese Mary Sue drowned spring…?  
  
Kurama: Oh! I got it spring of drowned Mary… Ah. Duo! Run now run fast and don't look back!  
  
They make a mad dash for anywhere but here. Soon after Hiei reappears at the spring grumbling something grabs the bag and quickly departs.  
  
A few miles and a plentiful amount of kicking and screaming from the bag later the sky decides to open up and a flood of rain falls to the sky. Snickering can be heard coming form the bag.  
  
Kurama: Wow this rain is cold.  
  
Duo: No kidding. Aren't you glad we found that spring of drowned boy?  
  
Hiei chuckles to himself. All that is heard from the bad is a resounding NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
They pass the spring of drowned kitten, and Hiei shudders.  
  
Kurama: It'll be alright Hiei just keep walking.  
  
Our adventurer's quest is almost at an end as they reach a large rocky mountain.   
  
Kurama: Just up this mountain and we'll be there.  
  
Duo: Looks pretty rough.  
  
Hiei look at the mountain looks at the bag and grins. With bag dragging behind him Hiei makes sure to hit every bump, crag, and giant boulder on the way. On their way they see a cat person trying to sell them things… they move on.   
  
Kurama: Finally we're here.  
  
Everyone looks at the sign. ::malicious grins:: Duo lets out a chuckle. The bag appears to be whimpering. They untie the bag and dump it in. The flailing body makes a large splash. A few moments later on of the strangest creatures emerges from the water.  
  
Duo: Wow that's pretty bad. Do you think that maybe this was just a bit cruel?  
  
Everyone appears to be in deep thought…..  
  
Everyone: Nah!  
  
We have the platypus looking a bit ticked off. It holds up a sign that reads YOU BAKA'S!!!   
  
Hiei bursts into laughter.  
  
Hiei: Is that the best you can come up with?  
  
Duo: Kare wa no nihon-go wa hana-mochi narimasen.  
  
Kurama: Aho onna!  
  
Hiei: Tawake-mono. Kakedashi no sammon bushi.  
  
As the group starts to leave the platypus holds up a sign reading DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, but they already have their backs turned.  
  
Kurama: Are we forgetting something?  
  
Hiei: Nope.  
  
Back at the spring…  
  
Goku: What do you suppose was in that bag?  
  
Inu Yasha: An author. I recognize that smell anywhere.  
  
Kenshin: Like impending doom, that it is.  
  
THE END 


End file.
